16. It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects

*NOTE: I've got into the habit of partially writing blogs and not posting them for one stupid reason or another. But that all ends tonight, please enjoy a partially completed entry circa 2pm yesterday at uni:

So I'm just wasting my time.

Its a strange feeling, something akin to being stuck in a continuous commercial break with no avenues of escape. Not that has actually happened to me, thus destroying the real use of the example.

Maybe I should begin doing entries via sign language or simple grunts.

I'm stuck in the matherson library west reading room under the pretence of study/preparing for my 30% negotiation assessment tomorrow. Obviously that's not the case. In reality I've found myself spending a fair amount of time looking out of the windows at what is really really shitty weather. Its rain, its wind, its overcast, its Melbourne in April.

So I guess winter is coming.

I have no umbrella.

And that in itself lends to more ambiguous statements of fact or half-truths;

- I've become something of a nothing, and a nothing of a something.
- Such statements as above bear no resemblance to what my left foot is saying to me.
- Inherent truths about a man's life pale in significance when compared to the weight of a house's soul.

All in all, I really don't want to do anymore study right now.

I've been sick for the past few days, and I let it define my behaviour. And while it worked to some small extent, on a much larger scale, it has achieved nothing but allowed me to watch superfluous amounts of television without remorse. But I've reached a crux, and all of it ends today.

So be warned. Or more specifically, be alert but not alarmed.

I found myself visiting the graduates careers fair at university today. To be honest I had two clear objectives in mind, and neither of them were to gain information about the companies' career options, no, my objectives were;

1) get as many freebies as I could
2) to feed my internal sense of well-being by reminding myself that I already have meaningful employment next year.

Well that was the intention, but then I realised; I just could not be bothered.